Welcome to my confessions

"You are so thin, Sally, how did you get so thin?"
. . .
"You're so bony, eat something!"
. . .
"I'm so jelous of your figure, annorexic bitch!!"


Oh, the overwhelming joy of recieving these types of "comments" on countless occasions, soon turned into pure antagonizing, anger. In the beginning, yes, a little comment from a friend was nice, but when girls you don't even speak to are calling you annorexic, and your mother is threatning to send you to hospital, you can't help but flare up a little.

Some of you may believe that these comments should be praised as "complements" instead. And yes, you are right to think this. However, at the time, while I denied what they suggested, and secretly soaked up the words in grattitude, I was also a little confused.

THIN!! I would echo within. Are they insane? How could anyone think I am thin? I just could never understand how other people could call me thin, when through my eyes, I was attrociously large. Looking in the mirror was just plain embaressing. Wearing tight clothes was not an option. Dancing with that body? No way! Everyone was out of their minds to call me thin. Or so I thought.

Turns out I was "suffering" from annorexia. Hah! Who could have known? Certainly not me, certainly not my perception, and, even more surprisingly so, certainly nobody else knew either. Infact, to this day, I am still alone in this "illness," this "disease" that consumes me, that controlls me, that fuels me. No one else knows, and I'm sure no one else cares, either.

Annorexia is not a lifestlye, nor is it a disease. It is, however, an illness, an illusion, and, to be honest, a pain in the ass at times. But it is my illness, my illusion, my pain in the ass. I am trapped, and I really couldn't care less. Why? I can assure you, you will find out in due time.

Until then, I welcome you to my mind, my life, my world. This is my blog, and these are my confessions.